Are You The TOXIC One?

Of course, no one wants to be labeled as the toxic one in any relationship, but sometimes all fingers point right at YOU. This is not necessarily a bad thing and could be a great opportunity for a bit of self-reflection.

Usually, if someone is called toxic, they are more likely to explain the idea away, opposed to assessing their behavior and considering that they just might be a raging ball of fire. But what if we actually considered it?

Acknowledging that there is a problem, could very well be the first step towards healing and understanding how you can thrive in a healthy, loving relationship.

The truth is, I think that there is a bit of toxic in us all. From the way we may overthink about something said or done to us, or perhaps the need to always be in control. As well as constantly stressing about our partner's intentions and if they can be trusted, all while wondering if we even trust ourselves. Maybe keeping our options open, just in case we get played and embarrassed. Or worst of all, flirting and forming attachments to people, we don't really want.

Another fear behind being called toxic, is the indication that something may be wrong with us and not our partner.

Admitting we're responsible for chaos is not ideal. As we look ourselves in the mirror, we are essentially adding a negative trait on top of our existing insecurites. This can be extremly difficult. We much rather prefer to explain our toxic behavior away and blame everyone else but ourselves, shying away from accountability.

But what if we observed our behavior and took the cristism of others seriously? Is there any truth to our own selfishness? Are we insecure or verbally abusive? Do we obsessively try to control our partner's every move? Are we needy, clingy and argumentative? Do we need constant reassurance that things haven't change?

The good news is if any of these actions correlate with our behaviors, we can definately change. It may take a lot of time and effort but it is possible to not be toxic.

So I challenge you not to be afraid of being called toxic, but to be afraid of missing out on a chance for growth.

If you suspect you may be toxic, seeing a therapist/counselor can help you identify those toxic traits and abolish them.

So, again I ask. Are you the TOXIC one?